Back t' Wolves, Man, & Truth
To th' general public — So many o' ye are embarkin' upon th' effort o' raisin' wolves or wolf-hybrids. Many o' ye are startin' out with very little knowledge o' th' creature. I admire yer wishes t' promote a better psychological climate fer th' Wolf throughout th' USA. I am positive that most o' ye are truly dedicated and really love th' Big Bastard. Walk the plank, avast! It’s beauty, intelligence, and complex social order are certainly fascinatin'. However, so many o' ye are findin' out that ye have bitten off a big mouthful and consequently become baffled and discouraged after delvin' into Wolf needs and behavioral traits. Yaaarrrrr! Thus th' reason fer me publishin' this little booklet, and a bucket o' chum.
I must assure ye that though I DO want t' help ye and do wish t' see ye become knowledgeable o' auld Canis Lupus, it is rather a hardship upon me t' get up in th' middle o' th' night, or some other inappropriate time when I might be workin' with me own packs, and spend an hour or so tryin' t' straighten out yer little or even major problems. And swab the deck, pass the grog! This plus th' fact that ye are spendin' far more than what this booklet costs t' feed Ma Bell, plus th' fact that I am only reachin' one individual case each time, compels me t' look fer a better way t' communicate with ye, via th' printed word.
Enclosed within this missive are th' answers that I have arrived at from 50 years o' studyin', hands on, th' Wolf, and a bottle of rum, by Davy Jones' locker! Also, th' answers t' th' most frequently asked questions from ye. Perhaps this booklet will ease th' cost and time fer ye and th' costs and time fer me in detailed one-on- one phone or postal inquiry. I do hope so. These words are written in very clearly and easily interpreted Man t' Man phrases. And hoist the mainsail! I am sure that yer 6th grade child can fully understand them.
Now I dern't wish t' appear here as an expert (there are none). I dern't tell ye that this knowledge is infallible. I merely contend that this is th' way that I did it. This is what I have learned from me own success. This is th' way I am doin' it now. And though I might interpret a “Know It All” attitude t' ye, this is not me intention, and I write ONLY o' what I have learned personally.
I will not give ye what someone else does. Nay other opinions, only mine. You evidently WANT what I have learned in th' past one-half century, or ye wouldn’t come t' me when ye have problems. Therefore, here they are. Fire the cannons! Aarrr! I shall begin with some straightenin' out o' what th' Wolf really is. How dangerous he is. How compatible he is. Ahoy! How intelligent, how complex, how really easy t' get along with, with just a bit o' Lupus psychology. Then we will dig into his requirements. Shiver me timbers!
Don’t misinterpret me callin' it “HE.” I am not a sexist and only use th' male analogy fer convenience and t' avoid th' he or she, extra effort. I, like th' Wolf, seek th' easier way out and abbreviate as much as possible without detractin' from yer expected know how, avast.
However, there is very little equal rights movement in th' Lupus breeds and poor auld Mom must stay home and tend th' minnows usually, while auld Dad is out scroungin' and salvagin' in order t' sustain his family and Mom has t' kind o' kneel down and plead fer that comely wench place in th' pack, BUT in return she is given th' best o' everythin'. Like a big belly full o' semi-digested meat from th' leader’s stomach and she gets th' best. Like protection. Like even a semi-reverence durin' th' reproduction cycle. Plus dotin' on, and babyin' from ALL th' pack members, so though ERA doesn’t fit very well into Wolf Society, at least dear auld Mom and Grandma have got it pretty soft, huh?
Hang in there, don’t let me analysis discourage ye. I did it and I’m just a dumb auld country lad with a high school education. Right, and dinna spare the whip!